I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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