I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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