i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
