wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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