just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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