this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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