Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
