I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
