things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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