She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
