piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize