Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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