if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize