Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
