Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I need moral support for this bender
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
