he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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