the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
