As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
