At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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