It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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