so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
