I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize