R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We have started to decorate penises.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
