I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
