wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
