I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
