just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
