I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
