ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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