barbara walters just said penis...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Boobs are out for the taking
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
