dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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