I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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