he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize