i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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