do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
