He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
