I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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