her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
