I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
