You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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