Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
