he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
