drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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