Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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