I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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