some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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