Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
