I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
