Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
