i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
