so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize