the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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