he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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