Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Fuck appropriateness.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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