everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
