that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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