Don't you send me to vm
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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