I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
