I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
