Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
