I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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