my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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