when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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