We won't sleep together?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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