you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
