May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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