she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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