if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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