I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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