if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
