Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
