You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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